Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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