if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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