Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
