Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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