Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I've blown a few things in my day
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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