If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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