he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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