Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
