Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I love having hate sex.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
