this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
