Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
