Are we in a gay sports bar?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
