Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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