escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken