have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
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He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
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she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.