So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
