I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize