shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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