DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
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Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
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She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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