Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My cat gives me a boner
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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