I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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