i just sent this text using only my big toe
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
