she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
