ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
