just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
