You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
