i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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