so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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