Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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