Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Randomize
