you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
