Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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