Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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