okay pat passed out under dana's car
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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