woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
