Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
