His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
