I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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