i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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