I forgot how hot balto sounded
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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