There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize