he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You were trust falling into bushes
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
