remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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