I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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