dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
