the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
