dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
