Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
