Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
