Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize