I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
