operation harelip BJ is a go
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
