Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize