Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
